Interview with Hampton, celebrity blogger to the stars

Former proprietor of Party Photo Orgy Party Photo Blog, Hampton is now a scholar in residence at the CUNY Graduate Center. We caught up with him while he was buying an overpriced slice of pepperoni pizza at the rip-off Sbarro’s on 34th Street.

Hampton, man, are you a sight for sore eyes.

Thank you. You’re not the first person to say that to me, you know.

I’ve had a rough month, Hampton. I’ve really been buffeted.

I know. I’ve been Googling you.

You have? What do you… make of it?

Well, you should never have written a book, for one thing.

I know that. What else?

Books are dead. Pizza lives. The future of books is pizza.

I should have made a pizza.

You? No. They’d have gotten you for it. Because you know why? I’ll tell you why. You would have stuck your dick in the pizza.

I don’t think that’s true.

You know perfectly well it’s true. At least you’d have tried.

Do you blame me?

I don’t blame you. I’m just explaining something to you. The future of books is pizza. Not your dick.