thoughts on the internet
The internet unleashes the creativity of what Henry James used to call the great American public. What can the great American public do? It can—it turns out, we didn’t actually know this about Americans—insult you, mercilessly, daily, quite cleverly, doggedly. But you’d be blinkered to think that’s all the great American public can do. It can also compile exhaustive...
This blog sucks. What’d you do, run out of puppies? Loser. You wish, dude. I’ve got more puppies than you’ve got friends. What? Sorry. No, you’re right, I have no friends. I don’t either. I was just talking. Oh. Yeah. Check out this puppy, though. It’s biting another puppy’s tail.
Sometimes readers say to me, “OK, all right, you are a great poster of puppies. One of the greatest. Your puppy-posting credentials are beyond question. But the world is not all cute puppies, you know. There are other animals. Hedgehogs, for example. Do you post those?” Readers: Yes. I do.
answering my critics
Takebacktheinternet accuses my puppy-posting of being “a borderline felonious sham. It’s a thinly-veiled attempt to mix in CUTEZ PAHPPEE PIXZ (what the Internet IS for) with your typical prattling on about bogus intellectual frivolity (what the Internet IS NOT for). This tactic will not secure you the Internet.” Well, that may or may not be true—but I ask you, is this a...
How come Gawker never links to my tumblr when I post a photo of a cute puppy? I’m one of the top cute-puppy posters in the entire blogosphere, and what do I get? Readers: Please send more cute puppy photos. We’ll take back the internet yet. K
youth in revolt
Reader mail bonanza. I read your book for a few reasons, which include, in no particular order: … 3) I had a crush on Emily Gould when she worked at Gawker. And if I had the book here with me, which I don’t, I would reread the speech on page 73 you mentioned today on your tumblr. Because here’s the thing: though I’m not sure what exactly you’re responding to with...
I’ve been getting a lot of guff from the youth recently. It’s been a regular guffathon really. Just guff guff guff. Oh, youth. “Inscrutable youth,” as Elif says, “with your enormous sweatshirts and tiny telephones…” And your three published lines of poetry, your day jobs, your bright fresh faces, your future masterpieces—how haughty you are! How...
Dear Tumblr Readers, As our big party approaches, I have begun to worry. I’ve commandeered the n+1 office, but it’s not an official n+1 party, and I feel we should be polite to the natives. So, with that in mind, a quick guide to some of the people you might see. You will likely see Scott Hamrah, just back from his trip to Cannes. His film columns are here, here, and here. You might...
run-in with Hampton
We recently ran into celebrity blogger to the stars Hamptom, former proprietor of Fun Party Photo Party Orgy Blog, on the street. Or rather we saw him. This was on West 17th Street of all places. “Hampton!” we cried. He didn’t turn around. Hampton is about six foot five and comes in at around 250, so he’s a little hard to miss.”Hampton!” Nothing. We gave...
what I learned in the Gawker comments section
Dear Friends, So I ventured last week into the Gawker comments section. Not that I haven’t been there before. But not quite like this. What was I looking for there? Justice, I’m pretty sure. There’s that Edmund Wilson essay—Justice for Edith Wharton. And a few years ago there was Justice for Constance Garnett. And I thought, I could use some of that. That sounds about...
Toby Barlow sends a haiku. Dirty Old Man in the Modern Age I knew “light, sweet, crude” sounded too good to be true. How we pay for love.